


thoughts at dusk

by haloclub



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Camping, Canon Compliant, Gen, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haloclub/pseuds/haloclub
Summary: “Can’t sleep?”The question startles him, makes him whip around to the direction of the voice. It was Hikari, and even in the dead of night Takeru swears her presence radiates brighter than the stars sprinkled in the sky. He drops his shoulders and sighs, letting go of the blanket he frantically bunched up in his hands not a moment earlier. He hadn't seen anyone else wake up, or maybe he was too trapped in the spiral of his mind to realize.“Yeah, something like that.”(can be read as platonic or romantic)





	thoughts at dusk

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this to vent about my own fears of change through takeru  
> he tends to keep things bottled up and i just want him to feel comforted ;__;  
> i haven't written seriously in god knows how long but digimon is easy to write, it feels like coming home 
> 
> i'm entering senior year of high school and i'm learning to cope with my friends following different paths too, as well as discovering where i'm gonna go.. if you share the same fears i hope this can ease them a little <3 
> 
> enjoy!!

Nights in the Digital World were never truly peaceful. There was the constant danger, an anxiety that bubbles up in every part of your body. It fizzles in your throat, makes your skin prickle. Maybe, Takeru thinks, this is why he enjoys it. The rustle of trees and flora, the endless, inky expanse of the sky that twinkles above. A secret haven that only he and his friends know about. This pocket of the world is theirs, they make their own decisions here. The danger is exhilarating and so unlike anything else back home, he craves the adrenaline. Here he makes an impact. Here he's not told what to do, who to be. Despite the constant risks, that's why it calms him. 

The boy turns on his side, the knit of his throw scratching against his skin. It's worn and frayed from the many long nights of camping Takeru’s put it through. He doesn't know the last time it's been washed and he frankly doesn't care. He's lost count of the days, it all blends together in his mind.

At night Takeru drowns in his own thoughts. He wonders if his mom misses him. Fifteen minutes later he decides it doesn't really matter, he's left for long periods of time before. Another thirty minutes and he's fretting again, thinking she really must miss him and how dare he put her through that after everything that's happened. Most of all, he's scared. Scared of change, scared of the fragility of these moments in the Digital World. He props himself up on his elbows and takes a glance at the sleeping forms around him — he realizes that sooner than later, it'll come to an end. No matter how far he dives into the soft lilac hues of his daydreams, reality and its menacing eyes loom at the bottom. Life isn’t summer nights fighting digital monsters with his friends, life isn't always campfires with those close to him, embers reflecting in the whites of their eyes and light glistening off the creases of smiles. It's certainly not this happiness he feels now, it's not Patamon or the Digidestined. In the cold hours of the night, reality embraces Takeru, whispers the harsh truth that _this isn't forever_ into his ears.

Yeah, that's terrifying. 

“Can’t sleep?”

The question startles him, makes him whip around to the direction of the voice. It was Hikari, and even in the dead of night Takeru swears her presence radiates brighter than the stars sprinkled in the sky. He drops his shoulders and sighs, letting go of the blanket he frantically bunched up in his hands not a moment earlier. He hadn't seen anyone else wake up, or maybe he was too trapped in the spiral of his mind to realize. 

“Yeah, something like that.” 

Her smile softens, reaching her hand out to him. “Me neither,” she whispers. “It's cold, get over here.”

Without an ounce of reluctance, Takeru gathers his blanket and crawls over to her. He takes ahold of her offered hand and lets the warmth seep through his hands, up his arms, straight to his pink cheeks. Her blanket is fleece, much softer than his, a white and pink checkered pattern tied into tassels at the ends. She pulls it back and lets him shuffle in beside her, tucking them in and then ceremoniously throwing Takeru’s own blanket on top of hers. 

“There! Nice and warm.” Hikari giggles. She brings her other hand up to the one already entwined with the blonde’s and piles it on. “Now, there's something up with you. You look… concerned.” 

Takeru closes his eyes. “I'm fine, Kari, I promise. I’m just restless tonight, that's all.” 

His eyes open to a very unimpressed Hikari, her own lidded in disbelief. A thumb starts rubbing circles into his calloused hands, slow and steady. With each stroke Takeru’s resolve cracks inch by inch, feeling more vulnerable in her presence. He knows. He knows he can't hide anything from her, she reads him like a book. She's memorized every sentence, every word. It's useless to lie to her. 

And even though he hates venting, hates putting weight on her shoulders, he finds that he doesn't want to lie anymore. 

Takeru opens his mouth to speak but the words die in his throat, or maybe his stomach. Once he's said it there's no going back, for him or her. She's probably considered it before, the concept of change. The reality creeping up on them as every year passes them by. This moment can't last. But drawing attention to it may be harder than the thought itself. Hikari is patient though, she'll wait. Her thumb is still going at that same pace, her lips drawn in a worried smile. 

He takes a deep breath, exhales, and lets it all out. 

“This isn't going to last. We can't stay here forever like this,” Takeru stutters. “What if this is the last time we're all together? We're growing up, we're changing.” Hikari nods her head sadly, tightens her grip in his hands. She isn't moving to speak, so he takes this sign to keep going. “It seems obvious but I guess… the reality of it all is hitting me. Joe’s in college, and half of the group are seniors now. They're gonna leave. We're not those little kids from Odaiba anymore. We never will be again.” 

“It scares me.” He finishes, eyes glazing over with the beginnings of tears. He leans over and rests his head on Hikari’s shoulder, willing those rising tears away. She raises a hand to his hair and begins to trail her slender fingers through his greasy locks. 

“Oh, Takeru…” 

Hikari’s fingers continue to twine into golden brown. Time feels as if it’s at a standstill and the world seems to stop with it, all sound around the two ceasing. No rustling leaves or murmuring winds, just the quiet snores of the other kids around them. 

“There's truth in your words but,” Hikari’s finger snags on a tangle in Takeru's hair and works at unknotting it. She sighs. “That doesn't mean change is inherently bad. I’m scared too, there's a lot to consider now. New things aren't always easy things. But I have faith in our bonds, even if we settle in different places one day it doesn't mean we'll never see each other again. We're family, Takeru. You know this. They'll fight for you as hard as you'll fight for them.”

Hikari feels a dampness bleed into her shirt, Takeru’s body shaking. The strokes through his hair become more deliberate and she begins to hum. “You don't have to hold it in, I’m here.” 

“I don't want us to fall apart, you've seen the way they all fight,” Takeru’s voice wavers. “What if… they don't want to stay together eventually.” 

He's seen people who supposedly love each other break all ties, he knows it's possible. He lived with it for years, watched it happen in front of him. Takeru just wants to mend everything within the group, but what good is a band-aid applied to a gaping gash. Hikari knows this. In an instant it seems to be some unspoken realization between them, because she slowly grabs his face and puts her forehead up against his. She takes another moment, a painfully long moment, and speaks again.

“I promise you, whatever happens, it won't turn out like that. Sure, they can squabble, but they love each other. We all need each other. No matter what… They're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.” She assured, wiping away the tears that are beginning to dry at the corners of his eyes. “Change doesn't have to be scary, and it certainly won't break the Digidestined. They're all working through their own problems, it's nothing personal. Just… be there for them.” 

Takeru’s body wracks against Hikari’s frame, eyes darting down and dripping onto the blanket. The droplets rest just on the surface of the threads, not quite soaking in. He shakes his head eventually, shifts to lean against her side. “Yeah,” he drawled. “Yeah you're right, Kari. As always.” 

She nudges him with her elbow. “Well, of course.” 

“Don't let it go to your head,” Takeru pushes back, a small smile emerging. “Sometimes my mind just takes those fears and runs with them, especially when I'm alone.” 

He sniffles. 

“The future is overwhelming, but I feel safe with you by my side. With everyone… I really do hope things will work out. Thanks for listening.” 

Hikari squeezes his hand, so much so her nails dig in a little. 

“That's my Takeru,” she grinned. “Don't lose your hope. You're not alone.” 

They sat for awhile like this, laying on each other. Everything felt oddly serene, as things often do around Hikari. His eyes sting and his nose is clogged but Takeru felt happier, a little more at ease. He looked out at his friends around him, the people he's grown up with. Mimi and Sora are entangled peacefully together, Mimi’s hair splayed out like a pinwheel. Tai’s blankets are all kicked around and he's contorted in a pose that hardly looks comfortable. His brother was scowling, mumbling something into the blankets bunched up around his face, yet obviously dreaming. Koushiro fell asleep at his laptop, slumped against a tree trunk. At some point in the night Tentomon must've come over to cover him up, because the redhead had a quilt wrapped around his shoulders. Joe was rolled over on his side, hugging a very squished yet content Gomamon. Then of course there were the rest of the digimon, all curled up in a corner and sleeping soundly. 

Takeru couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face at the sight. Yeah, they'll be okay. He shouldn't let change scare him too much. 

“You know,” Hikari began, poking his cheeks. “You've got little dimples when you smile.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm. They're cute.”

“Yeah right.”


End file.
